Operation: Flaming Fanblade Pt. VI

Several hours later (including the abrupt change in time zones), somewhere aboard the Xcalibur…

“Joe…”

*ahem*

“Fine. Awesomer X?”

“Oh, A.L.E.X., my trusty robot sidekick! Have you picked up the signals of our comrades in Japan?”

“I’m a holographic avatar representing the ship’s computer, not a robot sidekick.”

“A.L.E.X., I asked for those signals, not your opinion!”

“Yes, fine. I’ve located the three mobile suits, but there’s something else that’s strange about this location.”

“What’s the problem? Are they being held deep underground inside some dark enemy base? Is the villain hot?”

“Well, not exactly. But there appear to be several wind turbines off the coast of Japan that are somehow catching fire, similar to a recent case in America that no one paid attention to outside of a few news articles…”

“A.L.E.X., we can argue about wind turbines later. Now tell me where our friends are!”

“To answer your previous questions…the transponder beacons are resonating from within a high-class sushi resturaunt in Tokyo. I’m getting Newman, his roommate, and Chase. They seem to be in relatively okay health, according to the health monitors in–”

“So they’re being held hostage in a restaurant, probably owned by some evil Japanese gang, right? I bet they wanted to get a ransom out of us!”

“Well, it is a private party, but it’s not–”

“See you later, A.L.E.X., I’m going to rescue them! Weeeee!” Joe hit the rocket boots and sped off through the ship. A few seconds later, he crashed into a wall. Joe hit the intercom in his suit, “Uhhh, A.L.E.X., can you remind me which way is the hangar deck again?”

________________

Meanwhile, somewhere in Tokyo…

Chase wasn’t sure what he was doing here. He vaguely remembered something about a mission, something involving a guy he hated wearing armor like his, but fully helmeted. One moment, he fell out of the sky and landed on a bunch of nerds. The next thing, some well-rounded Japanese chick was taking him out to dinner…which was totally cool with him, though he wasn’t sure why she invited these old Japanese guys to watch her eat.

A waiter guy set down a tray full of strange, small, food-things. Actually, the tray looked more like a canoe for a family of small mice, and this chick called the food-things “sushi.” It kinda looked like raw fish, so he summoned a waiter over to his table and handed him the canoe full of sushi. Whispering in his ear, he said, “Hey, uh look, I’m not knocking your cooking or anything, but there’s a bunch of raw fish in that stuff. Do you think you can throw it in the microwave or something?” The waiter did not understand him at all, so Chase raised his voice, “Mi-cro-wave, for uncooked fish-like thing!”

“Dude, it’s sushi. You’re supposed to eat it like that.” Chase turned around to see a pair of helmeted Xtacles behind him. One of them took the mini-canoe from the waiter and started picking random pieces of sushi.

“Hey, what the hell are you two doing here?” Chase hissed at the Xtacles, “I’m trying to make the move on this girl, and you’re totally messing up my vibe right now!”

“You’re going to a sushi party with Keiko Tsundere, and you didn’t invite us?” Newman whined as he took some sushi and opened up his helmet just a crack to eat the sushi. “C’mon, man! I thought we were buddies!”

“I’m not your buddy, I’m your teammate. There’s a difference.”

“Chase, do you remember why we came here?” The other helmeted Xtacle asked as he also opened up his helmet just a crack to eat some sushi.

“Uh, does it matter?”

“Do you even remember my name?”

Chase thought for a minute, and then said, “Not really, no.”

“My name is–”

“Y’know what? I don’t care. Now shut up and take off those helmets. You’re never gonna get any chicks if you keep hiding in your battle armor like that!”

The two Xtacles took off their helmets as Chase, Keiko, and the surrounding businessmen gasped out loud.

Suddenly, Chase struggled to catch his breath as he tried to ignore them and talk to Keiko again. He was getting that strange feeling again. His eyes wandered back to his teammates, except their faces were  no longer those of humans, but strange lizards with bumpy skin and sharp teeth.

“Chase?” One of them sounded a lot like Newman. “Chase, are you okay?”

Chase stumbled around, and found a nearby ninja holding a small wakizashi. <You there,> Chase said in his best Japanese voice, <Give to me your sword.>

The ninja did not give him the sword, so Chase took it from him.

“Holy shit,” the unnamed Xtacle asked, “Why is he stumbling around like that?”

“I think that large piece of glass stuck in his head is giving him hallucinations. Maybe we should take him to a hospital.”

“Yeah, but Keiko Tsundere’s right there! How often are we going to get the chance to bask in her loveliness?”

Chase took the wakizashi and launched an attack on the unnamed Xtacle, trying to stab him in the chest, except the armor was too strong for that sushi knife Chase was really wielding.

“Holy shit!” The Xtacle shouted, “He just tried to stab me!” Chase dropped the sword and punched him in the face, and then pulled out the man’s pistol and aimed it at Newman.

“Chase! It’s me, Newman!”

<You are not Newman!> Chase shouted in Japanese, <You are a lizardman with Newman’s voice and his sacred armor! Your trick will not work on me!>

At that moment, A figure broke through the surprisingly weak glass window of the fancy sushi restaurant and tackled Newman, sending him into the opposite wall with his rocket boots.

“Ladies and Gentlemen!” The figure shouted in a voice that sounded like it had just passed puberty, “I am Awesomer X, and I’m here to free my trapped comrades!”

Chase stared at the vision of manliness before him. It looked just like his hero Awesome X, but somehow Awesomer.

“C’mon Chase! You’re wanted back in America!”

“No! You cannot leave yet!” Chase looked behind him as the large breasted Japanese woman from his dream appeared to be floating in mid-air, “Our land still requires your services!”

“Look, you’re real hot, but I just beat the lizardmen!”

“Oh Chase, I am truly grateful, but there is another task you must face.”

“What task is that?”

The entire city of Tokyo began to shake.

“Aw, c’mon!”

blah blah blah, blah blah? Next time!